Emergent Stream Group
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A place to hang out with others doing all online courses in the Emergent Stream including – HD Asteroids, Holographic Human Design, Multidimensional HD. Hit the Discussion tab to ask questions, get feedback, share your experiences.
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Interactive chart & my mother
Interactive chart & my mother
Wow, I’m really blown away by the interactive chart. I was just watching the video, and I printed my interactive chart. Now, I seem to have everything on (7 centers!) except for two (Throat and Ji). It’s remarkable that the Throat and Ji are switched off and that all the undefined centers from my natal chart are switched on. The two centers that are switched off are the only ones my mother has defined in her natal chart.
I always had a very difficult history with my mother, feeling like I needed to completely adapt to her needs to make sure she could function well, while I could not be myself — if I was myself, I would be too much for her. Also, there’s this wound I have of not being seen and validated by her since the day I was born, probably from the moment she knew she was pregnant. I’m an accident, and she was only 19 years old and not ready for motherhood, although she did the best she could. But I always felt like “tip-toeing” around her my whole life, not to get in her way and not to overwhelm her. She got the “light” version of me, and I always felt that I needed to be extremely alert all the time, reading her body language, making sure I wouldn’t cause disruptions (and I have the Cross of Upheaval 😱), but above all: be a reliable person to her, so that she could rely on me, instead of the other way around.
It had a severe impact on me as a child growing up. Suppressing so much of my own energy and naturalness did cost me a tremendous amount of energy. I didn’t have any energy left to cope with the world, for going to school, for studying. I’ve never been able to work, until I turned 26 and I started my own business and regained some of my own energy and naturalness by doing something for myself and doing things I loved. But I had my first burn-out at age 21 and had to quit college because of it. I sacrificed a lot to spare my mother. And I’m still paying the price for that, now turning 43 within a few weeks.
I’ve always had a lot of issues and tension in the right side of my body, and many therapists told me that it’s related to the mother. I just can’t seem to relax on that side, and I can’t seem to breathe properly and move that side with ease. It often feels like it’s frozen somehow. I’ve been going to osteopaths and shiatsu therapists for many years, and since I’ve worked with my mother wound, it has improved a lot, but it’s still there… work in progress.
Seeing these charts… I just have… no words.
This is only my first acquaintance with the interactive chart, but this immediately stood out to me.
Here are my charts (natal & interactive) and my mother’s natal chart:
- This discussion was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Daisy.
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